Times of Trouble; Times of God; My Times in His Hands

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I haven't blogged in like forever! I just had nothin'! I mean I had thoughts: rambling thoughts, exhausted thoughts, defeated thoughts, and of course, some hilarious thoughts. None of my many thoughts felt blog worthy, until today.... Today, I just have to give up some big ol' blog worthy praise to the Planner of all Planners, the Knower of all Knowers, the Lover of my soul. Thank you Lord for this wonderful summer! Thank you for flashing Yourself right in front of my face all the time and for taking the scales off of my eyes so that I can see you everywhere! It has been quite a season. My life looks quite weird right now. Well, it has probably looked weird for awhile. I am sure it looked weird when we decided to add to our family through adoption. I mean we had the perfect little family--two kids, a boy and a girl, a beautiful home, the so called picture perfect life. (Funny, I typed lie at first, maybe that is more accurate). So, we went out on a limb, we followed God's calling on us, and we brought Kami home. If you know me at all, you know it has been a roller coaster of emotions. Oh, but isn't a roller coaster fun??!!! It is thrilling at times, terrifying at times, and it can take a toll on the body if you are the big 4-0 like me! Well, that sounds about like a ride with the Lord! So to make things even weirder, we start feeling like the Lord is calling us to sell our house. At different times since we first built our house, John or I would think about selling. We never, however, agreed at the same time. Suddenly, we both were in agreement. We have been rolling (quickly downhill) along, paying the bills just fine, but that is it...just paying the bills. Suddenly, to both of us at the same time, just paying the bills seemed less fulfilling and more stress inducing than anything. We have not felt called to adopt again, but I have felt burdened with wanting to help others more, and quite frankly, we just haven't been able to do it. So we just take the plunge and list our house to see what happens. It showed lots-- I mean lots. It was less than fun trying to keep Kami under wraps, Collin and Mallory to all their soccer events, and a clean, show-ready house. Things just didn't magically get easy. There were not bluebirds singing on my windowsill each morning! I was not whistlin' Dixie!!!! I was crying Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen!!!! I was like a sullen teen questioning the authority of God. "Come on, God, you wanted us to adopt. You wanted us to sell our house. Now I have a child throwing the tantrum of all tantrums at all times and disobeying me and pushing her limits at every turn. My back hurts all the time. I feel like my other two children are being neglected at times. I want to sleep like all the time. And I have to keep a perfect house because You told us to sell it! When do we get our break?!" It was not pretty. School let out and our house had not sold. John and I sat on the deck talking one night...maybe we had mis-heard. Perhaps God was just trying to see if we would be obedient. We decided to give it two more weeks since school had just ended and then take down the for sale sign. Are you smirking yet? I know God was probably shaking his head at us. BAM!!!! We got an offer, a good offer, with just one kicker. They wanted to move in quickly and to rent the house for one month before closing. So, there ya go! Just like He arranged for Kami to come home on summer break, He arranged for our house to sell and need to be packed up on summer break. Why, oh why, do I so quickly forget His faithfulness???? So now I am standing on His faithfulness, and singing praises because not only is He faithful, but goodness gracious, He is one heck of a planner. He sure knows the comings and goings of all, right down to the details of how to work out our summer of "homelessness" with our friends' vacation plans! Call it what you want...call it weird, call me crazy, call me a girl keeping herself in trouble. That is ok! I had rather be a girl keeping it chaotic with God on my side than a girl alone!!! We have only had a post office box to call our address since June 24, but God has provided and planned for us to have roofs (or is it rooves?) over our heads each and every one of those nights by sending our friends on their vacations, staggered at just the right times. Seriously! God is so Good!!!! We have some good friends and family too that have been willing to open their lovely homes to us. (And I have had some good gals, the best to listen to me moan and cry and carry on at times!) SO THANK YOU GOD AND THANK YOU OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY! I am not done being weird though... This life of no roof and little stuff (at least while it is in storage) has been great! Stuff weighs us down!!!! God lifts us up!!!! He is so faithful and good! Now we are looking more like a picture perfect family! Less harried and hounded and more peaceful and joyful. Kami is having an amazing summer. At each transition, she has a little bump, but all in all she has done soooooo well this summer! Collin initially grieved leaving our house, but he has come around and is doing well. To quote him, "I am awesome." This is his newest and too oft repeated phrase regarding himself lately! Mallory is really a tween dream. She is really laid back and good natured. We have some bumps, but they pass quickly, she is a joy of a daughter for me! My husband, my John...I love that man!!! We have been having more laughs and enjoying our nomadic life! And God has it all worked out. He has set out each little morsel of manna just at the exact right moments. We fell in love with a picture perfect move in ready house, put an offer in on it, started feeling ill at ease with it, saw another house, looked at it and saw all the needed work and potential, withdrew our first offer, put in a second offer, negotiated, and are now waiting on the closings for the house we sold and the house God had for us all along. I think I may just look like that house to God--I need quite a bit of work, but He thought I was worth the price, and He will make both beautiful...in His perfect timing!!! But don't be surprised if it looks chaotic and weird and like lots of trouble in the midst of the process....instead, thank the Good Lord for being right there every step of the way and having it all perfectly designed the whole time!