Times of Trouble; Times of God; My Times in His Hands

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I haven't blogged in like forever! I just had nothin'! I mean I had thoughts: rambling thoughts, exhausted thoughts, defeated thoughts, and of course, some hilarious thoughts. None of my many thoughts felt blog worthy, until today.... Today, I just have to give up some big ol' blog worthy praise to the Planner of all Planners, the Knower of all Knowers, the Lover of my soul. Thank you Lord for this wonderful summer! Thank you for flashing Yourself right in front of my face all the time and for taking the scales off of my eyes so that I can see you everywhere! It has been quite a season. My life looks quite weird right now. Well, it has probably looked weird for awhile. I am sure it looked weird when we decided to add to our family through adoption. I mean we had the perfect little family--two kids, a boy and a girl, a beautiful home, the so called picture perfect life. (Funny, I typed lie at first, maybe that is more accurate). So, we went out on a limb, we followed God's calling on us, and we brought Kami home. If you know me at all, you know it has been a roller coaster of emotions. Oh, but isn't a roller coaster fun??!!! It is thrilling at times, terrifying at times, and it can take a toll on the body if you are the big 4-0 like me! Well, that sounds about like a ride with the Lord! So to make things even weirder, we start feeling like the Lord is calling us to sell our house. At different times since we first built our house, John or I would think about selling. We never, however, agreed at the same time. Suddenly, we both were in agreement. We have been rolling (quickly downhill) along, paying the bills just fine, but that is it...just paying the bills. Suddenly, to both of us at the same time, just paying the bills seemed less fulfilling and more stress inducing than anything. We have not felt called to adopt again, but I have felt burdened with wanting to help others more, and quite frankly, we just haven't been able to do it. So we just take the plunge and list our house to see what happens. It showed lots-- I mean lots. It was less than fun trying to keep Kami under wraps, Collin and Mallory to all their soccer events, and a clean, show-ready house. Things just didn't magically get easy. There were not bluebirds singing on my windowsill each morning! I was not whistlin' Dixie!!!! I was crying Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen!!!! I was like a sullen teen questioning the authority of God. "Come on, God, you wanted us to adopt. You wanted us to sell our house. Now I have a child throwing the tantrum of all tantrums at all times and disobeying me and pushing her limits at every turn. My back hurts all the time. I feel like my other two children are being neglected at times. I want to sleep like all the time. And I have to keep a perfect house because You told us to sell it! When do we get our break?!" It was not pretty. School let out and our house had not sold. John and I sat on the deck talking one night...maybe we had mis-heard. Perhaps God was just trying to see if we would be obedient. We decided to give it two more weeks since school had just ended and then take down the for sale sign. Are you smirking yet? I know God was probably shaking his head at us. BAM!!!! We got an offer, a good offer, with just one kicker. They wanted to move in quickly and to rent the house for one month before closing. So, there ya go! Just like He arranged for Kami to come home on summer break, He arranged for our house to sell and need to be packed up on summer break. Why, oh why, do I so quickly forget His faithfulness???? So now I am standing on His faithfulness, and singing praises because not only is He faithful, but goodness gracious, He is one heck of a planner. He sure knows the comings and goings of all, right down to the details of how to work out our summer of "homelessness" with our friends' vacation plans! Call it what you want...call it weird, call me crazy, call me a girl keeping herself in trouble. That is ok! I had rather be a girl keeping it chaotic with God on my side than a girl alone!!! We have only had a post office box to call our address since June 24, but God has provided and planned for us to have roofs (or is it rooves?) over our heads each and every one of those nights by sending our friends on their vacations, staggered at just the right times. Seriously! God is so Good!!!! We have some good friends and family too that have been willing to open their lovely homes to us. (And I have had some good gals, the best to listen to me moan and cry and carry on at times!) SO THANK YOU GOD AND THANK YOU OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY! I am not done being weird though... This life of no roof and little stuff (at least while it is in storage) has been great! Stuff weighs us down!!!! God lifts us up!!!! He is so faithful and good! Now we are looking more like a picture perfect family! Less harried and hounded and more peaceful and joyful. Kami is having an amazing summer. At each transition, she has a little bump, but all in all she has done soooooo well this summer! Collin initially grieved leaving our house, but he has come around and is doing well. To quote him, "I am awesome." This is his newest and too oft repeated phrase regarding himself lately! Mallory is really a tween dream. She is really laid back and good natured. We have some bumps, but they pass quickly, she is a joy of a daughter for me! My husband, my John...I love that man!!! We have been having more laughs and enjoying our nomadic life! And God has it all worked out. He has set out each little morsel of manna just at the exact right moments. We fell in love with a picture perfect move in ready house, put an offer in on it, started feeling ill at ease with it, saw another house, looked at it and saw all the needed work and potential, withdrew our first offer, put in a second offer, negotiated, and are now waiting on the closings for the house we sold and the house God had for us all along. I think I may just look like that house to God--I need quite a bit of work, but He thought I was worth the price, and He will make both beautiful...in His perfect timing!!! But don't be surprised if it looks chaotic and weird and like lots of trouble in the midst of the process....instead, thank the Good Lord for being right there every step of the way and having it all perfectly designed the whole time!

Momma Bear

Although I am sure there have been many, there are only three memorable "Momma Bear" moments that I have had. I hate confrontation and usually avoid it at all costs, but sometimes, especially when it comes to my kiddos, the momma bear just bursts out, leaving me shaking and crying afterwards.

One occasion happened when we were at a playground at the zoo. There was a rock climbing wall of some sort, and the playground was very busy. Collin (3 or 4 yrs at the time) was standing on top of a wall where you could climb down somehow through a little opening. Like I said, it was very busy, and a child came up behind him who was quite anxious to climb through that opening. It was a big drop, or so it seemed to my mommy eyes. Suddenly, something overtook my body and voice, and I was up saying, "Don't push him!" The poor little boy I spoke to burst into tears. I felt horrible and embarrassed the rest of my family. I am telling you though, the force overtook me. I foresaw a danger to my son and some kind of protective thing welled up within me.

Another occasion occurred when Mallory was playing soccer. For her first few seasons, we avoided the local rec leagues, because I was not ready for such competition. She spent her first few seasons playing for church leagues. John grew up on soccer, as a goalie. To Mallory's excitement and pride, she was being put in goal often. I was a wreck every time she was in goal--so much pressure to put on one child (and her mom!) At one game, there were two other mom's from our team standing close to me having dialogue about the game. Suddenly, the ball was in Mallory's hands as she stopped the other team from scoring! She then threw the ball right to the middle towards the opposing team, making it easy for them to score. The two ladies standing by were very excited, and their voice levels were louder. One said, "Why did she do that?!" The other replied, "Because she doesn't know what she is doing!" These ladies were not happy! I had been sitting in a chair with knots in my stomach as always when Mallory was playing goalie. Well, that feeling, that force overcame me again. Before I knew what was happening, I was up and heading towards these ladies, imploring them to be quiet! I said, "Can you hush? That is my daughter you are talking about! We chose a church league for a reason, and we should be encouraging each other, especially our own team!" I felt as if I would throw up and probably had the shakes for an hour after this!

I had a chance to be a momma bear yesterday. I am not sure whether I succeeded or not. This momma bear story involves Kami, hair, and probably racial issues too. Needless to say, this incident was much more complicated and emotional than the above mentioned incidents, and it left me shaken, heart-broken, and angry. I was given pictures of Kami from a few months before I even met her. They are pictures that I don't share too readily. They are hers and part of her history...she can decide how and if she wants to share them. She is bald in these first pictures and obviously sick. There is a set of pictures that came from our adoption agency after we had accepted Kami's referral. In these pictures she is looking much healthier and with some thin sparse hair that had lots of orange/red in it. I was told from a missionary friend that the red tint probably indicated malnourishment (no surprise to us.) When we went to bring Kami home, we found her shaved bald because of a fungal condition on her scalp. Again, no surprise and no huge deal. We brought her home and her hair began growing in, very patchy and very tightly coiled. I have readily sought advice and been given much friendly, but unsolicited advice. It has been good to hear this advice. I eat it up. I have poured over the internet for hours researching African American hair types, products, and styles. I have learned lots, some through success and some through trial and error. That is okay. My main goal, has been to make hair and hair time a positive experience for Kami and myself. Above all, my main goal has been to help her understand that her natural, tightly coiled hair is BEAUTIFUL!!! I have been told that her hair is coarse, that it is brittle, that I should put it in a protective style, that I should not put in in a protective style until it grows more, etc. I have been introduced to sleeping scarves, satin pillowcases, a myriad of oils. I have read about people who use petroleum and mineral oil and people who refuse to use petroleum, mineral oil, and sulfates on their hair. I have learned about how her hair is not to be washed too often and terms that were foreign to me before such as cowash and prepoo. I could go on and on! I have also put into practice and spent precious pennies on most every bit of advice given. Some have worked and some haven't. I failed to follow the advice of wearing a swim cap during pool time. I read and thought rinsing would do the trick. For us, this wasn't the best plan, and I will do better next summer. Kami's hair has filled in and grown. It is not long, but her curls, when stretched out, will surprise you with how much longer her hair is than it appears. Bottom line is, I am really the only one that has my hands in Kami's hair each day to asses what is working and what isn't working. I feel a huge responsibility as her mom to speak into her self image by telling her that she is black and beautiful and that her hair is strong and her coils and kinks are gorgeous. I have done my research and taken my role as her mom very seriously, knowing that in Heaven our skin color and hair types won't matter, but that here in our broken world, unfortunately, it does to many. I am soooo living for the day when we are in Heaven and I can be at peace, away from the labels that we have put on people that will NOT matter in Heaven in the presence of Jesus.

I write the rest of this with my guard up and very hesitantly. I do NOT want to open a can of worms that makes people angry or divided. I just want people to be aware. I want to process through this myself in a healthy, Christ-honoring way. I want to be better prepared to handle future situations because similar situations will probably occur. When Kami was in the care of some trusted people, an African American woman removed her bow and questioned those who were caring for Kami about Kami's hair and me and my care of her. Kami is often mistaken for a boy. For this reason, and because I do love bows, I have chosen to put bows in her hair! It is my business, I am her mother! Later in the day, I encountered this same woman. I was going over to say hello to Kami and give her some momma lovin' when I heard someone ask me if I was her mother. I replied yes, and asked Kami where her bow was. The woman told me I needed some assistance. I began laughing, and I agreed. I have had some good laughs with other African American's about my need for assistance with Kami's hair. Like I said, I have been blessed to not encounter anger and hatefulness until this point. The conversation continued, but with NO smile or NO hint of friendliness from the woman telling me repeatedly that I need some assistance. She went on to say that taking care of a black girl's hair is crucial to her self esteem. I agreed with her, though this did not soften her countenance or tone towards me. She then told me that it is necessary to fix my child's hair everyday and that it will not be pleasant for the child and will probably make her cry, but that is okay and necessary. I informed her that I do fix Kami's hair everyday. (Obviously the way she fixes hair and the way I fix it do differ!) Her surprised reply, "Oh, really?" At this point, my stomach began to hurt, and (yes, I can be slow) I realized this was not a pleasant conversation any longer and more importantly not one that needed to take place in front of my precious baby girl! I walked away...and then it hit. You know when you are suddenly hit with an urge to cry but you are surprised by that need and you don't want to cry in front of the whole world?! So I spoke to someone about what was going on and escaped to cry and briefly deal with this slew of emotions that had taken me by surprise.

I am not sure what all I felt. This was about much more than Kami's hair. Perhaps I am wrong, but this was a judgement call unleashed on me for being a white woman to a black child. There, I said it, and now I feel sick to my stomach. If that is not what it was about, then I apologize and ask forgiveness. I don't want it to be about that! This was a judgement passed on me without knowing me, without knowing my heart and my efforts, without knowing my deep, deep love for this miracle in my life, and without knowing Kami's history. Advice, I will gladly listen to: hatefulness, I will not tolerate! Later in the day, the above mentioned woman came to me to finally smile and introduce herself. She then asked if I wanted her phone number. I took a deep breath and told her, "No, thank you." I calmly shared with her that her previous comments had offended and hurt me. She again offered her phone number, saying that she would be glad to offer assistance. I politley informed her that I had assistance. Her reply, in that surprised tone, "Really?" This momma bear told her that it was exactly that questioning tone that offended me so much because she did not know me or know anything about us or our circumstances and so she should not make judgements about me and/or Kami's hair. Again, she offered her number and again I declined. And again, I smiled on the outside while shaking like a leaf on the inside.

I am thankful and honored to be given the role of being Momma to my three precious children. I am thankful for the protective spirit that our creator has for us and that we, therefore, have for our own children. So watch out world! You don't want to stir up the "Momma Bear!"

Boy Child

I am thrilled to have a second today to post about my sweet boy child, Collin. Collin just started the third grade at school. He is growing up and is not my little boy anymore, but I do love the big boy his is growing into! He has a great sense of humor; he is very sensitive; he has some hilarious and great dance moves; he is amazing with Kami; he is an amazing soccer player; and most importantly, Collin loves the Lord. What a great catch for future ladies, hu?! :)

Collin has reading homework daily. He often chooses the Bible to read as a nonfiction choice. It is so awesome to see the things he writes down about what he learned from his daily reading assignment. Collin and one of his best friends, Andrew, were separated this year. They have been in the same classroom at school for both first and second grades in addition to being in groups together at church. These two boys are so sweet! John and Andrew's dad grew up together, so it is especially endearing to watch Collin and Andrew's friendship. Needless to say, the moms were disappointed that the boys will not be in the same class this year. I try to trust God with all my kids' school placements because I have prayed over them each year, and I know that God hears those prayers. It occurred to me the other day that perhaps God needed to spread His word and love out a bit more...I am holding to that as the reason for Collin and Andrew's separation! The disciples didn't get to always stick together, right?

Collin has been enjoying spending time with our cousin Magan who is beginning her freshman year at UK. These two have always been close, and I am thankful to have her nearby now. With her starting college, Collin has begun pondering his future college choices. He relayed a sweet conversation to me the other day about his thoughts. Collin and his best bud Joshua were talking about college and where they might each go. They decided between UK and Asbury. Joshua informed Collin that they probably wouldn't have any classes together at UK because it is so large, but he thinks they would probably have class together if they both choose Asbury. How sweet is that for an 8 year old boys' conversation! I can't wait to see how the Lord uses these two boys!

I have to give Collin a shout out for his patience and love. Kami has been quite the challenge in many ways. She and Collin have definately adopted typical sibling roles. He wants to be a leader figure to her, but she thinks she is as old and as smart as he is and does not like being bossed by him. She has been quite a terror to him at times: wrecking beloved Lego structures, sneaking around in his room, refusing to let him look out her side of the car window, and even leaving some pretty bad bite marks on his arms! He shows her great compassion and grace. He keeps loving her with total abandon, despite her behavior. Last night, I so enjoyed watching him play Candyland with her. We had tried it earlier in the day, but little Ms. was not cooperating, so we had to put the game away. Collin stepped up and offered to play with her again later that night. He did such a marvelous job of teaching her how to play. His loving manner and encouraging words were truly an inspiration to me!

Thank you, Lord, for my sweet Boy Child!!!!

miracles from the mouth of my middle schooler

Mallory is entering 6th grade this year---Middle School, Youth Group, brushing her hair all the time, hormones, spending time behind a closed door more often, embarrassed of walking with her mom in public---6th grade. I say all this with tongue in cheek, because, actually, she is such an awesome young woman! I am sooo proud of her, and I hope to keep her covered in prayer and help guide her to stay strong in the Lord and know who she is in Him.

Today, I was driving Mallory to her Middle School orientation. We had a few rare moments of alone time in the car. We discussed the Youth Group cookout that she had attended the previous night. Mallory told me about the devotional that they did. Their Bible passage was about the Prodigal Son, and they took time to reflect on their earthly fathers and then on Father God. One question that they were asked is 'how have you been let down or disappointed by your dad?' I could have burst into thankful tears when Mal told me that she could think of nothing to put in those blanks because she has never felt let down by her daddy. Is that incredible? It sure is to me! I am blown away with gratefulness! Thank You Lord!!!!

How many people would say they have never been disappointed in their earthly father? We spend enormous amounts of time listing all the ways that our fathers (mothers, teachers, leaders, etc.) fail us. We are adults! Here in my car, living under my roof, in the middle of Tween Hwy. en route to Teenage City, is this precious child telling me she has never been disappointed in her daddy! People, I experienced a miracle today! Now, I am sure that there will be future moments when Mallory does feel disappointed by Daddy (me, society, teachers, etc.), but I am choosing to treasure this miracle in my heart.

I am so very thankful that Mallory isn't bogged down in blame like the majority of our society! I am so very thankful that I am married to a man who is such a good daddy! I am so very thankful for my Heavenly Father who is faithful and whose path for us is beyond all the goodness we could ever plan for our own lives.

Oh, and I am also thankful for the delicious bite of a cookie that my sweet Mallory just cooked and brought to me! Yum! Hey, maybe the teenage years won't be so bad!

I was a good mom...

God is so good to put people and information in your life just when you need it! I have been 'exposed' to much info from the moment we began the adoption process. Our process went so quickly that during the whole paperchase and even for most of the first year home, I have just been trying to keep my head above water. The fog has been lifting. I will think it has lifted all the way, then time will pass, and I can see that God is good and merciful to only 'lift the fog' as I am able to handle what I can see. It reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures, 1 Corinthians 13:12.
"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." God fully knows. God fully knows! I cannot completely wrap my brain around that, but I can rest in that. I can trust that one day, I will see it all as He saw it and planned it from the beginning. God is soooo cool!

I cannot say enough about the wonderful things I have been soaking in lately from the Empowered to Connect website. Although it can be messy stuff, it is so refreshing to find that there are others out there who have felt the same way I have been feeling. The following are some excerpts from a blog post that rang so true to me!

"When Russ and I embarked on our adoption journey, we did it with some sense of confidence. We were experienced parents with seven children who seemed to be thriving under our care. We wanted to serve God and, since we were in the thick of raising children, it made sense to expand our parenting to include children who needed families. Besides, we really, really loved kids and it brought joy to our hearts to consider adding more to our family.
At that time, I had been a mother for nineteen years. It was long enough to have made loads of mistakes, but to have overcome many obstacles as well. I was nowhere near being a perfect mother, but I was a “good mom” and I felt pretty confident that my skills, my desire to live for Christ, and my heart for children would carry me through any challenges that would come our way.
Before we even arrived home from Ethiopia with our children, we knew that our lives had shifted in a dramatic way and that we were in for a struggle. Jesus is merciful, however, and we only saw the very tip of a large iceberg. We believe He gave us all that we could bear to know at the time out of His love for us and for our children.
As the months passed and we struggled to parent our children, our belief in ourselves as “good parents” began to fade. Should we press on with the parenting techniques that had served us well for so many years? In the face of so many challenges, which problems should we focus on first? Was it okay to let behaviors that had never been allowed in our home to be accepted now? Should we read more books on adoption? Should we call somebody? Should we keep quiet and hope that nobody would notice that we were falling apart? What should we do?
We didn’t know the answers, but one thing we did know: we were no longer the parents we used to be and as all of our children struggled, we no longer felt like “good parents” at all.
As we travel the long and winding road of healing, I’ve had to redefine what I believe a “good mom” is. I accept that because I fiercely love all of my children, I must parent them differently. Some things I once held as my standard of “good mothering” no longer fit. I grieve these losses, I really do, and I miss the simple days when I thought I knew what it took to be a good mom.
I now have the privilege of knowing many “good moms” who have been reshaped by their experiences of parenting When we adopted our four children, we knew it would be challenging, but we were confident in our ability to help these new little ones. We had years of parenting experience under our belts, and for heaven’s sake, I even had a degree in Psychology from a Christian university. Surely we could handle anything that came our way. We were wrong.
If you find that life with children from 'hard places' has become more than you can bear, I urge you to get help. Don’t wait as long as we did; seek help early. I can say with conviction that it is worth it — it is absolutely worth it.
As Christians we are called to love others, even the very unlovely. Jesus told us that we must lay down our lives to follow Him and if He has called us to the ministry of adoption, then we must lay down our lives for the sake of our children. We must be willing to follow His leading as we seek help for our children even if it comes at a high price to us."

Lisa Qualls, who wrote this post, has been married to her husband Russ for over 26 years. They have 11 children who came to them by both birth and adoption. She earnestly believes in the power of God to heal children’s broken hearts and is privileged to participate in the process with her own children. Lisa writes about her life and family for Empowered to Connect (www.empoweredtoconnect.org) and on her blog, A Bushel and A Peck (www.onethankfulmom.com).


Wow! Even as I read it again, I can't believe how true all of this is for me too! That gives me hope; hope in knowing that just because I am not the same mom does not mean that God cannot still equip me to be a good mom! He called us to this, and He will equip us. I first must stomp on some pride, and admit that what worked before will not necessarily work now. It is also hard on my pride when I have to seek help from others who are parenting children from 'hard places' much more gracefully than I am. Thankfully, however, God has provided me with an incredible support group, and I am only strong when I admit my weaknesses and lean into Him and His provision. Another pride battle comes when I am faced with well intentioned advice from those who don't believe my adopted child should be struggling when she now has such a good life. I used to believe this myself. I used to want to discipline this stuff out of her. No one else could change my mind, and I will not be able to change their minds. And so I must learn how to most gracefully handle and connect with my precious girl, even when she is acting in a less than precious manner. I must learn to parent for an audience of One. I must learn to parent the way He parents me--for my best and to bring Him glory!

Long Time, No Post

It has been way too long, a ridiculously long break since I last posted. We are still here! I have started to post many times, but two things have stopped me. The first, and more trivial reason, I don't love the way my blog looks. I am not extremely computer/technically efficient. I could figure out how to make everything all cute and inviting, but I have not found the motivation. No motivation to beautify blog=No motivation to post on blog. The second, and real underlying reason, is that I have been overwhelmed! I hate to share that in public. I NEVER EVER want to give adoption a bad name, and so I have just chosen to share nothing.

I will begin by saying loud and clear so no one will get the wrong idea--I DO NOT REGRET ANYTHING!!!! Please never assume that a rocky road is one that I would avoid. We love Kami to pieces. She holds the same place in our hearts as Mallory and Collin. We would not change a thing. There is my disclaimer; now I feel like I can explain my overwhelmed state.

Kamise has transitioned very well. She has picked up on the language so well it is ridiculous. I really think she may be a genius, no really,and not just because I am her mom. Kami, Collin, and Mallory have adjusted like any normal siblings, with lots of love and a big dose of sibling rivalry and frustration. John and I have remained stumped on many levels... all of our awesome parenting strategies and wisdom (tongue in cheek) are not as successful in parenting Kamise as they were in parenting our older two.

It has just been a long year, and we are realizing that despite the easy initial transition, that Kami is having some attachment/trauma related issues afterall. This is in addition to me having severe back pain this year, John getting a new job, and Mallory hitting the tween years at full force. Goodness, I sound like I am complaining. Hear my heart, I am not...just being real and transparent.

I have included our celebration video in order to do just that--to celebrate. For all the tears and frustration, there have been double blessings and laughter. My mom is certain that I have added years to my life this year since laughter is healthy. We have certainly had our share of wonder and laughter as we have become a family of five!

Those are all of my words for now. I plan to be better about posting and to continue being transparent about our ups and downs...I just need to process and be able to give my thoughts and emotions the appropriate and adequate expression.

We are still here!

It has been too long, I know. My how much busier life is with a two year old! I woulnd't have it any other way. Miss Kami is continuing to blow us away with her larger than life personality! She is talking so much and putting together three and four word sentences. It is crazy how fast she learns! She is a very observant little one. She studies details of things. She is quite the helper too! Her favorite chore to help me with is laundry. She identifies each piece of clothing that passes from the washer to the dryer by naming its owner! One of her favorite new activities is cheering for her brother and sister at their soccer games. She is such perfect for the McKibben family! I know I keep saying it, but I still stand in amazement of it all! We serve such an amazing God!

I have to admit that I kept holding on tight, waiting for the bump in the road. It hasn't come. I am not saying there won't be bumps. I am not saying this is true for everyone's adoption story. I am not saying this will be true if God calls us to adopt again. I am just saying, "Thank You, Lord Jesus!!!!"

Okay, so there might be two tiny little bumps, maybe just rocks in the road. Haircare and two year old temper tantrums. I have become obsessed with googling African hair care and hair care products for kinky hair. I spend lots of time moisturizing and combing out knots...she only has about half an inch of hair on her head, but it is growing. I am getting to know her hair and anticipating our first puff ball on the top of her head! :) The tantrums have been part of our adventure from day one. First, we were in Ethiopia, and she didn't even know us, so I didn't really discipline her. Then we came home, and I'll just admit it, she is too darn cute. It is hard to discipline her, especially with a straight face. We moved from little to no discipline to counting to three in order to prompt her to follow a command. This cute little girl can just dig in her heels and refuse, landing herself in some time outs. As I mentioned earlier though, she is one smart cookie. Her latest tactic is to wait until I reach 'three' and get up from my comfortable position, then she will obey. John's grandmother captured it best when she said, "She has to see the devil coming before she will obey." So I have upped the ante...if I get to three with no obedience, she has to go to time out. Last night was our first night on 'crack down'. There was lots of crying and tears in our house last night. :)

Oh, how we love our Kami Jane!